From Ball Kicked to Having
a Ball: Xavier
Mondale talks to us about his surprising start in the world of dance
and the success of his new musical
Elizabeth Holder: Thank you for talking to us. You must be
very busy these days.
Xavier Mondale: Yes. It’s been sort of a whirlwind since
the show did so well. I mean, I liked the show a lot from the start
and I hoped that it was going to do well, but I’m still
flabbergasted by the raw enthusiasm we seem to have generated.
EH: Just to let our readers know, in case anyone is
unaware, Xavier and I are talking about the success of the broadway
musical Nicholas Cage aux Folles for which he
did all of the choreography. Was it difficult finding ways to
translate the life of Nicholas Cage into dance?
XM: You know, honestly, it was easier than you might think.
Cage is not known for his dancing, but that gave me an enormous
amount of freedom to make the movements match the mood and the story.
In a sense, it wasn’t straight-forward, but that made it easier to
be creative.
EH: How has the success of the musical changed your life?
XM: Oh, quite tremendously. I mean, this was my first real
success. I had done some assisting other choreographers before but
this was the first situation where I was really given full creative
control, and people have loved it. It’s been quite gratifying the
reception it’s been given. Six months ago, no one would answer my
calls, but now the phone doesn’t stop ringing. It’s quite
gratifying. I mean, before this, I would have guessed that my
greatest legacy and best known work would have been my time as the
“Kick ‘Em in the Nuts” guy.
EH: The “Kick ‘Em in the Nuts” guy? I’m not
familiar with that.
XM: Oh, well, this was back in the early 90s. Do you remember
the rap group Cinnamon N Ginja?
EH: That’s kind of before my time.
XM: Well, they were kind of derivative of another popular
group. Two attractive girls rapping, often being sort of frank about
sex. Well, they had a minor hit with the song “Kick Em in the
Nuts.” The chorus was, let me think, oh yes, “We shake our tits,
we shake our butts, but if guys get grabby we kick ‘em in the
nuts.”
EH: I might have heard that once. How were you involved?
XM: Well, after that song became a hit for them, they held an
audition for dancers to go on tour with them. They had a couple of
dancers that they knew already. One was Ginja’s cousin and the
other I think they went to high school with. They were both great
dancers, really, but neither of them was willing to get kicked in the
balls on stage. So they had open auditions for who was going to be
their dancer who would get kicked during “Kick ‘Em in the Nuts”.
I needed the work, and frankly, the girls were hot, so the idea of
working with them sounded good.
EH: When you say “hot”, you mean that they were
shooting up the charts?
XM: No. To be completely honest, I wasn’t even really sure
that the song was going anywhere. It seemed sort of like a fad, and
they hadn’t even shot a video yet. What I mean when I say that
they were hot is that the girls were lovely. They both had lovely
even brown skin, long legs, pretty faces, and great figures. They
did indeed have butts and tits worth shaking, but also nice little
waists. Really, they both were very well built. Very fit-looking,
but also very curvy. And I mean like, curvy, big tits, large hips
with that small waist, not “curvy” as euphemism for being
overweight the way some people use it. Male dancers are often
assumed to all be gay, but I’m definitely straight and working with
a couple of attractive women was definitely appealing to me,
especially in my younger days. I didn’t get into dance for the
girls, but I do have to admit that it is a nice side benefit.
So I went to the open audition they posted for dancers. Oh, I hope
you don’t mind my talking about all this. I know you mostly wanted
to ask me questions about the show, but I’ve done a dozen or so
interviews about that, but no one’s ever asked me about my history
as the Kick ‘Em in the Nuts guy before, so I feel tempted to just
tell the whole story.
EH: By all means. I’m sure our readers will be
fascinated by the story of your start in show business.
XM: I went to the open audition, there were about forty of us
there, I was actually surprised it was so few, open auditions often
draw hundreds, but then rap was still kind of a new-ish thing then,
and some people regarded it as not serious dancing. It was in a high
school auditorium on a weekend, but that wasn’t unusual for
auditions for touring dancers. First Cinnamon and Ginja called us
all in and made clear what the job would entail: dancing during most
of the songs with differing choreography which we would have to learn
and lots of real kicks to the balls. No cups or other protection
would be allowed because they wanted a real reaction. They felt like
an audience would respond much better to a real kick in the balls
than a simulated one. Upon hearing that, about half of the dancers
left. The rest of us were either desperate enough for the job to
take the punishment or, well, masochistic enough to like the idea.
EH: Which were you?
XM: Well, hmm. I was pretty broke. Maybe I used the wrong
word. I wouldn’t quite say I’m a masochist, but there is
something very exciting about getting punted in the balls by a pretty
girl. There’s something sort of forbidden and sexual about it plus
the way they often laugh at your pain, there’s something quite,
well, exciting about that. And, uhh, … hmm.
EH: It’s okay. You don’t have to go into any more
detail about that. What happened at the audition?
XM: Well, since we only had about twenty of us left, they had
us all come on stage together and they had one of their dancers go
through some fairly straightforward hip hop choreography to see who
could hack it. They let about 8 of the guys go. A least one just
seemed totally uncoordinated. I wasn’t sure why he went to the
dance audition to begin with. But the other guys were decent dancers
but clearly not used to the more sudden and jerkier motions which go
with hip-hop. Aside from my formal dance training in modern and jazz
all the way up through college, I’d been dancing in clubs since I’d
been a teenager, so I did fine with that part.
Then the rest of us they, well, they wanted to make sure we could
really take a kick. So they just lined us up and went down the line.
Cinnamon went first and, well, I was right at the end of the line, so
I watched as she came down it. Both of the girls were in spandex
dance costumes for the try-outs, and they looked really good. It was
honestly kind of fun watching Cinnamon go down the line kicking guys
in the crotch. She seemed to be putting a decent amount of force into
her kicks, but it seemed to be just enough that the guys were making
faces and bending over a little.
I’d never really seen a situation quite like that before: a group
of guys just standing there letting her go down the line, kick, kick,
kick. There’s something exciting about it intrinsically, something
about the reversal of the usual male/female power dynamic. All us
guys just standing there waiting for a punt in the balls from her.
And then also as she came closer and closer to me, I could feel my
anticipation building. I started to sweat a little and my pulse
quickened. I felt pretty sure I could take it, but at the same time I
felt nervous nonetheless. When she finally got to me, my heart was in
my throat.
EH: Were you worried she was going to injure you?
XM: Not really, no. But it’s always a little scary knowing
that you’re about to take one in the goolies. But I managed to
keep my legs spread wide and before I knew it, she was standing in
front of me and smiling. And then, wham, she kicked me right in the
nuts. It was a good shot and got me right in the balls with the top
of her foot. It knocked the breath out of me and I leaned forward,
holding my balls, but still on my feet. I felt like I took it pretty
well, and was ready to take another, if need be.
And sure enough, once Cinnamon was done, Ginja started down the line.
I had thought that Cinnamon was hitting pretty hard but Ginja was
kicking way harder. The first guy she kicked just crumpled in a heap
on the floor moaning. She had really reared her foot back and just
smashed it forward, probably as hard as she could. The second guy
wound up in a heap on the ground, too. The third guy wussed out and
left the audition. The fourth and fifth guys wound on the floor. And
I started to feel really nervous. The next couple of guys both
declined and disappeared, but the rest of the guys down the line
manage to not lose their nerve. Nonetheless they wound up in heaps on
the floor.
So, by the time she got to me I was terribly nervous. My legs were
shaking just a little bit in anticipation, and my heart was beating
wildly. There's something about that excitement of knowing that
you're about to be in a lot of pain very soon that almost has a sort
of appeal to it. I mean, I definitely knew I was alive. When she
actually stepped in front of me and I was standing there with my legs
spread apart, I swallowed hard wondering if I was making a terrible
mistake. And when she unloaded that kick on me I collapsed, too. I
don't even really remember what happened right afterwards.
A couple of minutes later I heard the girls urging us all to get back
up. They were saying we needed to take one more kick from Ginja and
that anybody who didn't get up was automatically cut. I was proud of
myself that I managed to do it, especially since I was one of the
last people kicked so I'd had the least time to recover. When I
looked around I realized that only four of us had gotten to our feet.
True to their word Ginja came down the line of those of us who were
standing. With a swift kick she put the first guy right back down on
the floor. The second guy despite having struggled to his feet
wouldn't actually let her kick him. He kept his legs together and
wound up just telling her that he was giving up and leaving. The
third guy managed to hold it together and keep his legs apart until
she'd given him a swift kick in the nuts, but he howled when that
blow landed and collapsed in a heap.
And then it was my turn. I considered going out like the second guy.
My balls were still clearly tender and in a lot of pain, and the
thought of getting another kick to them definitely didn't sound
great. But I needed the job, and I really wanted to impress the
girls, so, despite my instincts, I managed to stand there with my
legs open and take another kick.
EH: I bet that hurt quite a bit.
XM: Oh, you bet it did! I think up until that point in my life
it was probably the most painful experience I'd ever had. The first
kick from Ginja had left them sore and tender. The second felt like
it destroyed them. I was totally wrecked, collapsed on the floor
just holding onto my balls and moaning while praying for them to stop
hurting. The girls just left the three of us there for a few minutes
and eventually they came over and helped lift us up off the floor.
They sort of pulled me up off of the ground and held me between them.
It was honestly really nice feeling their bodies against mine as
they carried me over to a couch.
They told the three of us that we had done great, and they gave us an
address of a smaller rehearsal space and told us to show up the next
day when they’d put the three of us through final paces before
making a decision. So I went home and iced my balls to try and keep
them from bruising or swelling. I suspected it was going to get even
worse the next day.
EH: Did you consider just giving up then?
XM: No. I mean, I found that thought scary but also exciting
in the same way that doing something dangerous like jumping out of an
airplane or stepping into a boxing ring is exciting. There’s a
fear of pain, but it’s there’s a certain exhilaration to the
risk.
I got there the next day and found out I was the first of the three
candidates to arrive. Cinnamon and Ginja were already there. The
three of us waited around for a while, but it turned out not only was
I the first candidate there, but I was the only of the three
finalists to actually show up. I guess the others have second
thoughts about their future reproductive health or how much pain they
were able to take or something else. I don't know maybe I was an
idiot but you're only young once, and I'd made up my mind to go
through with it.
Despite no one else showing up they did put me through my paces
anyway. There wasn't any one kick quite as rough as that very last
one from Ginja the day before, but they wanted me to take about six
kicks over the course of the routine for the song, each one hard
enough to realistically cause me to fall to the floor (although not
so hard as to keep me there for very long time since I’d need to
get back up and take several more over the course of the song). We
wound up working through that routine half a dozen times that day so
by the end of it my balls were extremely tender and had a dull ache
just from all the repeated blows.
EH: Did you at least have the job at that point?
XM: Oh, yeah. They pretty much told me that I had it when I
was the only candidate to show up that second day. But by the end of
the day they definitely confirmed it. But I went home that night and
again iced my balls to be on the safe side. I found myself wondering
if I was doing something stupid, but as I thought about it I couldn't
help but imagine what the shows would actually be like and the idea
of a bunch of female fans laughing and cheering when I got kicked in
the balls - I don't know - it somehow that just made it seem like the
right thing to do. Like somehow being a dancer often meant enduring
bodily pain and soreness to help provide other people with
entertainment and taking a lot of pain to my balls for women's
amusement was just another way of doing that. Still I couldn't help
but feel worried and wonder what I’d gotten myself into.
EH: Did you look into ways to help protect your balls at
all? I've heard something about martial artists who have balls of
steel. I don't know how they trained to do it.
XM: At the time I hadn't heard of anything like that.
Honestly, I hadn't really heard of anything you could do to protect
your nuts other than wearing a cup which I knew I wouldn't be allowed
to do. But Cinnamon and Ginja had actually heard of that exact same
sort of thing that you're talking about. And apparently the way the
martial artists prepare is just by taking a lot of shots to the
crotch over and over again. We still had a few weeks until the tour
started. We spent a few days rehearsing the rest of the numbers with
the other two dancers.
But then once we had it pretty much down pat that's when Cinnamon and
Ginja introduced the idea of doing that extra training with my balls
to help protect them. I was initially not at all sold on the idea of
taking extra unnecessary shots to the nuts beyond what I had already
agreed to. But the girls really argued for it. We went back and
forth for a while. Mostly they were worried about having to replace
me mid-tour if I got hurt and thought that this would help. I just
couldn’t see much benefit to it. But then they tried bribery and I
gave in.
EH: Bribery? They gave you some extra money?
XM: No, not money. More, well, really what happened is that
Cinnamon told me that she noticed how much I've been looking at her
cleavage which, yeah, guilty as charged, and offered that the two of
them would do it topless if I wanted. And yeah I couldn't turn that
down.
EH: Is that all it takes to get you to let a girl beat up
on your family jewels? Just flash a little titty?
XM: Yeah, pretty much, not that these were little titties:
they were both had really nice big chests. Still, it’s just a boob
flash. I probably don't really value my reproductive health as much
as I ought to, truth be told, but, hey, being a young guy makes you
an idiot sometimes. You know, in retrospect, I might have declined
if I’d thought about the fact that we were likely to wind up
sometimes sharing a dressing room. I actually got to see them
topless quite a bit later.
Still, this was a pretty unique experience. We spent a whole day,
just the three of us. They still had just a little apartment in
Queens then. The money from the single was just starting to roll in.
They’d turned in an album, but it was going to be released right
as we started the tour. So they weren’t living in luxury or
anything. But it was okay. I mean, it was a perfectly normal
apartment, not a slum or anything.
Once I got there, they shed their tops, much to my excitement. And
then immediately Cinnamon gave me an extremely forceful kick, maybe
to prove that she’d been holding back the other couple of days.
That first kick was terrible. It was hard enough that I saw stars
and immediately collapsed to the ground moaning. But the girls they
just laughed at me. It was several minutes until I was finally able
to get up, and when I did, Ginja gave it to me just as hard as
Cinnamon had, and I was right back on the floor. They were again
much amused, laughing at my response to the kick.
They kept that up all morning, just alternating between the two of
them, kicking hard and fast each time I got up and thus putting me
right back down again while they tittered about it. In between, they
were just watching game shows on TV waiting for me to struggle back
to my feet.
EH: That sounds fairly brutal.
XM: You don't know the half of it. By the end of the morning
my nuts were bright red and swollen to almost twice their normal
size. I thought the girls were going to have to give up on the plan
entirely because I was taking forever to even get back up each time.
At some point in there they'd even promised me a reward if I did well
enough. I think they said something like I get a very special reward
if I managed to take a hundred kicks. At that point it was taking me
about 15 minutes to get up after each kick so my total wasn't
anywhere near that.
I thought that maybe they'd call it a day at that point, but I had
underestimated their ingenuity. It turns out they had some handcuffs
available. Cinnamon fetched those from her bedroom and use them to
handcuff my hands behind my back. Then they sat down on the couch and
they laid me across the two of them so that my head was on Cinnamon's
lap and my crotch was lying across Ginja’s. And then Xinnamon
leaned forward holding me in place and also smothering me with her
boobs as a side effect. And then, while she was holding me there,
Ginja punched me in the balls over and over again.
The hits individually weren't nearly as hard as the kicks had been,
but what they were was relentless: just every couple of seconds
another punch. Sometimes they'd hit one ball sometimes both, but
always another punch every second or two. Soon I was thrashing and
moaning but to no avail. If anything, they seemed to like how I was
moaning into their big heavy breasts and enjoyed competing some to
see who could make me moan the loudest. They kept it up all
afternoon sometimes switching places.
By the end of it my balls were bruised all over and swollen even
larger than they had been before. They were so tender that even
walking hurt just from the jostling that occurred with each step. The
girl sent me home in a cab. That was probably better than the subway,
but still, I acutely felt every pothole that we hit. When I got back
to my apartment I iced my balls, but it didn't really help bring down
the swelling very much.
Fortunately there were still several days before the tour started,
but I need all of that time just for my balls to recover. They were
swollen and tender for all of the next day and a good portion of the
day after that until the swelling finally started to recede.
EH: Are you upset with them for having done that to you?
XM: Upset? No I wouldn't say I was upset. I felt a little
worried about whether or not I'd be ready for the tour, and I
couldn't help but think that it had been somewhat ill-advised since
it only seemed to make my nuts more tender. But, honestly, I found
the experience, well, to be frank, erotic. I don't think of myself as
a masochist per se, but even still there's something highly erotically
charged about having two extremely attractive topless women take me
way past my normal pain tolerances. And even more so when it's my
sexual organs they’re abusing.
I wouldn't want to repeat that day, but it was one of the most
strangely sexual of my life. And, if anything, it made me think that
I might actually enjoy this tour. I mean prior to that I think some
part of me knew that there was always going to be a sexual element to
getting kicked in the balls by pretty girls, but I'd always excused
it as something I was just planning to do because I needed the money
or the career advancement. This was the first point where it occurred
to me that I might actually enjoy it.
EH: Did you enjoy it?
XM: Oh, yes. I mean not every moment of it obviously. You know
conditions were cramped and the schedule was crazy, but in the
overall it was quite fun. There's an excitement to being part of the
show, and it was one of my first real professional dance experience –
well, certainly the first on that sort of a scale. I mean I'd done a
show or two before but nothing beyond a single engagement. And the
other dancers and the girls both had a great sense of fun. Basically
every evening was a big party after the show. And along the tour
itself we had jokes and we had fun: it really was a terrific
experience.
EH: And how did you find the getting kicked in the balls
part of it?
XM: Well, that first night when my balls were still a little
tender from the kicking a few days before, so, well, that night was a
little rough. But after that I got acclimatized to it. I mean, I
won't say that I ever fully got used to it. I still wound up on the
floor naturally after most of the kicks. I only faked my reaction a
little bit every once in awhile. So it's not like I got entirely used
to it. It still hurt quite a lot. But, at the same time, there was
something very special about having a whole audience mostly of girls
fixated on what was happening to my crotch, cheering when I got
kicked right in my balls. That was amazing!
EH: Did you get any groupies?
XM: Oh yeah, I mean, not nearly as many as the girls did. They
always had a line of guys waiting outside their door. But we dancers
did all right. I won't say I had someone waiting for me every night
but you know most nights there was a girl or two who had some level
of Interest.
EH: Any of them want to kick you in the balls too?
XM: Some, but fewer than you might think. Really only four or
five across the whole tour. In Columbus, Ohio I remember there was a
knock on my dressing room door after the show. I opened it up and
there was this very pretty dark-skinned girl there in a pink jacket
and a pink mini skirt and without even saying anything she just
kicked me extremely hard right in the crotch and then when I
collapsed she ran away giggling.
But there are also a few who thought it was sexy. There was a girl in
Los Angeles who came to my dressing room and was very into me. And
once we got all hot and heavy that's when she told me that she worked
as a dominatrix and that our favorite clients for the ones who wanted
her to kick them in the balls. She was very pretty and had a killer
figure. And when she said she wanted to kick mine, too, I couldn't
say no. That was a painful evening but a fun one.
And there was a girl in Birmingham who showed up at my dressing room
wearing the tiniest little skirt which showed off her long pretty
legs. And she told me how she was having trouble fending off guys who
were being too grabby and just wished that she had someone she could
practice kicking in the balls. She acted all sweet and innocent and
claimed to have never kicked anyone in the crotch before. But when I
agreed she kicks harder then even Cinnamon and Ginja had at their
worst. I had to stop her after about three kicks because there was no
way I was going to be able to take what she was dishing out and still
be able to go on stage the next day and get kicked some more. She was
very disappointed but still gave me a nice thank-you-blowjob
(although, there was a little ball squeezing involved in that too).
The other one that really stands out it was actually a girl who came
to see me twice. Our first night was in New Jersey and then we went
on to Philadelphia before continuing on South down the East Coast
from there. But in Philly, my second night of the tour, there was a
knock on my door and when I opened it there was this absolutely
lovely girl. She was tall and had long black hair and a very
impressive figure. She was slim and busty and was wearing a dress
that showed a couple of yards of cleavage it seemed. And I was
immediately blown away by her.
She told me that she was impressed by all the kicks to the balls I
taken on the stage. I thanked her and said I tried my best. I wasn't
really quite sure what to say she was my first groupie. She told me
that her dates usually couldn't take more than two or three kicks.
And then she asked if she could come in but she also said, and I
remember these words exactly, “Don't worry, though I won't kick
your balls. Well, not unless you get an erection.”
As soon as she came in the room she shut the door behind her, and
then started to kiss me. And, of course, being young and all worked
up I got hard to no time. As soon as she noticed it, wham! She
kneed me right in the balls. It wasn't the hardest knee I'd taken
that evening, not quite as bad as the ones on stage. But it was
enough to stagger me and to disrupt my erection.
And then we start making out again, and of course once again I get
hard. And as soon as she notices it once more another knee right to
the balls. And then more making out and then a punch to the balls.
And she takes my shirt off and I get excited and get a kick to the
balls. She lets me feel her up and I earn another punch to the balls.
And that's how it keeps going one little step forward and I would get
excited and then she would assault my nuts enough to slow me down.
But still, we were making progress and eventually we both wind up
naked on the bed together. And she lets me suck on one of her big
titties. And that time when she punches me in the balls my erection
doesn't go anywhere. And instead of being upset like I thought she
might, she climbs on top of my hard cock and begins to ride me. But
each time she rocks forward she punches me in my exposed balls,
swinging her fist back behind her butt but still being able to make
really consistent contact (which I can't imagine was easy). I stayed
hard the whole time but the punches definitely were still somewhat
disruptive to my feelings of arousal. So I had a much easier time
keeping from coming too soon compared to most times I’ve had sex.
After the first few minutes she just started to have orgasm after
orgasm, but as sexy as it was watching her do that, all the ball
punching help me keep under control and not go over the edge for
quite a long time. If I remember correctly I think it came to be
about forty minutes. I could see the clock in the room from my
position beneath her, and I think that’s how long it went on. And
when I did finally come it was absolutely amazing. I don't think I've
come as hard as I did with her anytime since.
EH: That does sound amazing. Very erotic. Have you ever
tried to do anything like that since?
XM: Not with anyone else, no. But I did see her one more time
at the end of the tour. Our last dates were in New York City. And it
turned out that she made the trip from Philly to see us again. So the
first night we were in New York I spotted her there in the crowd,
and, honestly, there on stage I instantly got hard. Fortunately I was
wearing dark tights, and I don't think it was that noticeable.
After the show she was at my door once more and we basically had a
repeat of the exact same thing from the previous time: making out
with me getting my balls hit every time I got hard until eventually
she climbed on top of me once I was able to maintain an erection even
under her assault. This time, though, she rode me for about a half
an hour, and then climbed off and just punched me in the balls harder
and harder until I finally lost my erection. Then she thanked me and
started putting her clothes on to go. I offered her my number in
case she wanted to go out some time, but she was happier just having
this be a fling. And then after one more kick to my balls for the
erection I got watching her dress, she left. I, of course, handled
things myself once she was gone, and that was pretty satisfying, too.
The second night in New York was also pretty amazing. It was the last
night of the tour, so I guess the girls decided they didn't need to
hold back. The last couple of kicks each of them definitely were
extra hard. But on top of that, usually when we played Kick ‘Em in
the Nuts, it was the closer because that was our big song. It would
usually end with me lying on stage after the last kick. This time
though, after they finished the song they stayed on stage of a bit
and invited audience members up to come give me a kick in the balls,
too.
Being back in New York they had a couple of their friends on hand to
help out. So they asked the audience who wanted to kick my balls and
then they had their friends go pick about 4 girls out of the audience
and lead them up on stage. Now, I had no warning this was going to
happen, but I figured I might as well roll with it. So I stood there
with my legs spread for the first kick. I still remember that girl
she was very sexy wearing a tight sparkly dress and high heels. And
she kicked me full force like she was punting a football.
I collapsed onto the ground holding my nuts and moaning and really I
was ready to be done right then. But there were still three more
girls in line, so Cinnamon and Ginja picked me up off the ground, one
on either side of me, and they held me up there using their feet to
help spread my legs apart. And even though I was already completely
wrecked they let the second girl have a go. Her kick wasn't nearly as
hard, but my balls were so tender from all the previous kicking that
I collapsed again.
They dragged me back up once more for the third kicker who delivered
another more moderate one but it still felt pretty terrible in
aggregate. And then once more for the fourth one who kicked like she
had a chip on her shoulder. Her kick was about as hard as the first
kick had been and with my balls so tender it absolutely wrecked me I
stayed down in a heap on that stage even after the girls and the
other dancers had left the stage and even as most of the audience was
filing out of the venue. At least 20 minutes passed before I finally
dragged myself up and managed to limp back to my dressing room.
I was figuring that I'd stay there for the rest of the night and let
my balls heal up. But then there was a knock at the door. This time
it wasn't a groupie, it was Ginja who had come to check and make sure
I was okay, but also to drag me over to the party they were having.
It was sort of a tour wrap party, and since they were in New York
they had a bunch of their hometown friends.
They had a lot of alcohol, and, honestly, because it was their
friends it was a ton of girls mostly. So it was a pretty good party
except that as some of their friends started getting drunk they
insisted they be allowed to kick me in the balls, too. And, well,
they were hot and I’d mostly recovered from the last kicks on
stage, so at that point I just figured why not.
It was kind of fun being the focus of attention with so many girls,
but my nuts were so tender from before that I can hardly take
anything before I was on the floor. Truthfully they loved that, it
made even the lightest kickers think they were totally wrecking me,
because well they were. At the end of the night a couple of girls
wound up taking me back to my dressing room. We all got naked
together which was really nice but it was a little scary seeing how
red and swollen my nutsack have gotten. They did a little more
slapping but nothing very serious which was good because I couldn't
have taken much more. And overall it was a fun time with them. it was
my first time being with two girls.
EH: It sounds like you ended the tour with a bang. But I
have to ask, when we started this you said that you worried that
people would only remember you as the kicked in the nuts guy. Did you
mean that just because of this tour? I sort of thought you were
implying something more widely known.
XM: Oh, yes, I skipped right over that didn't I? Oops. When we
were in Los Angeles we had about a three-day break from the tour in
order to shoot a music video. Now, of course, they cast a bunch of
extras for several parts in the video and they lined up additional
dancers. But when it came to getting someone to kick in the balls for
the video who do you think they went with? Me, of course.
Well, I should mention they had a stunt guy who they brought in
initially, but he insisted on wearing protection and trying to fake
the reaction and Cinnamon and Ginja just weren't pleased with that
result. So, of course, they got me in to take real unprotected shots
to the balls. The shooting of the video was over a couple of days,
and we got to do a lot of takes of things with time in between. So
unlike the stage show where I just took about six kicks a night, that
time I got kicked about 50 to 60 times over two days. And about 25 of
those made it into the video. So when people think of that video,
they mostly think of me getting kicked in the nuts a lot.
The song had been a hit, and the video was too. It was on heavy
rotation on MTV but only for a couple of weeks or so. The novelty of
it did wear off fairly quickly. Still it pops up every once in awhile
when they're looking back at videos of the 90s.
And, not often, but every once in a while, I'll actually get stopped
on the street by someone who recognizes me from the video. When it's
a girl or woman who recognizes me they often want to give me a kick
in the balls.
EH: Do you left them?
XM: So long as they're basically cute, then, yeah. It's still
something I find somewhat exciting. And they often are absolutely
thrilled to get to do it.
EH: Do you think I'm cute?
XM: Of course, you're lovely. I mean, look at you, you've got
a pretty face with that long blonde hair and what a figure you've
got. You must have to beat the guys off with a stick.
EH: Usually a kick to the balls works. So, I can only think
of one prefect way to end this interview. Spread ‘em, Buster.
XM: Yes, Ma’am.
At this point in the interview, the interviewer gave the
interviewee a very hard kick to his crotch. He subsequently fell to
the ground.
EH: Thank you so much for talking to us about your career
in show business. Congratulations on the success of your new show.
And thank you for sharing with us how you got your first big break.
Do you have any final thoughts for a readers that you'd like to
share?
XM: Oh, God, my balls, my poor balls.
EH: Yeah, I probably should have warned you that I used to
play soccer in college. Well, thanks again!
